I was talking to a friend the other day during my drive home (don’t worry I’ve downloaded the instructions for my bluetooth headset – again – and I’ve been using it) when the topic of heavy drinking came up. I was trying to remember the last time I was totally crap-toast drunk and drawing a complete blank. It’s been some time since I drank to excess. Mostly it’s because I’m far too cheap (maybe poor is a better word) to spend that much money on beverages alone, but also because it’s just not attractive to be crap-toast drunk.
Mommy's Time Out
The whole conversation had me digging through my archives to find any posts about being drunk. In the process I discovered the early posts had no titles and that caused issues because there was no link to view the whole post. Last night was spent going through about 4 years of posts fixing that issue. Now the archives can be viewed in all their craptastic glory. In particular this post of drunken haiku from August of 2002. I believe that is the last time I was close to crap-toast drunk. Pitchers of margarita were involved in that evening.
Honestly though, I think the last time I was puking drunk was an evening out with friends that I no longer talk to at the shitty night club that had a very short existence in my south suburban hometown. I recall the next morning feeling like serious shit, being called by that “manager” I had at the used cd store who lied about why she wanted me to come in to work. Then I was trapped there the whole day feeling like death-warmed-over with no water or aspirin and wanting to vomit every 5 minutes. My Dad came by and brought me food, but yeah. I could have used a gallon or two of water and a nice lie down, rather than actual food. I think that night, was when I decided I’d never drink toward hangover ever again. Plus, that “manager” was a total bitch. She lied on several occasions about needing me to come fill in for her “for just a few minutes” while she took off to bang some guy, never to return. (I’m assuming she was banging the guys but yeah, she was always walking away with a guy.) So when I chose not to show up until the end of a shift, and then hand over my keys to quit, I really felt triumphant. Especially when I heard her shouting to the other girl who worked there on the verge of tears, “She just QUIT!?” heh…ahh to be 22 again and live with Dad.
So, dear readers, is there a time when getting crap-toast drunk is appropriate? Are we allowed one drunken night per month (year? week? decade?) depending on the occasion? Is there an occasion where drunk is OK? What do you think?
Heh… I remember that August night. The pictures I have still make me giggle (although I’ve had a request that they not be made public). And damn, PA, but those are some bitchen’ haiku!
As to the how often is OK to be crap-toast drunk question, I don’t really set any “so many times per month” limitations on it, but I do definitely believe there are times where crap-toast drunk is the only appropriate response to a given situation. And, I’ve just been informed I may have one of those situations upcoming in my future. Maybe you and Zes will want to take a trip to AZ with me…
Servilleta para ti? Or was it the Raw Bar after the Cubs game? I know that’s where the rules were developed for the 7 stages of margarita intoxication.
I’m with JZ. When the occasion calls for getting your drunk on and the accommodations support it (sleepover or designated driver), go for it!
That was the servilleta para ti evening. I remember taking the bus alone after those margaritas and writing the haikus (they were all created on the bus). The Raw Bar evening involved Melissa, and there were no haikus, and I was not craptoast that time.