Aches & Pains & Corns
I was at this thing today, freezing, and I folded my arms across me and as I did so, I felt this pain in my left hand. I moved my hand so it wouldn’t be bent anymore and the pain subsided but anytime I moved my left hand, it hurt. This pain went from my wrist to my knuckles across the back of my hand. I’m sure it’s some kind of degenerative nerve disorder or something so I called and made an appointment with my doctor since I’ve got kick ass insurance. Can’t get in until Thursday. This pain will be gone by then (it is a self healing degenerative nerve disorder ya know) but I can then talk to her about the weird rash on my foot.
Went to the foot doctor again a week or so ago. Every pair of shoes I own were crushing my toes on my right foot. Shoes that never hurt were torture…yes even the pink Chucks and the kitty shoes. She took a look at my foot, said the rash wasn’t a fungus but she didn’t know what it was, she’s never seen it. And then promptly diagnosed my toe pain as a corn. She shaved it off, said it’d come back. All I could do is keep shaving it off or try some kind of spongey toe separator and then still maybe get it back again and shave it then. Apparently corns are hereditary. I think Grandma had corns. All a corn really is is a callous on your toe. A very uncomfortable callous…damned corns. These things will cause my back to hunch, I just know it…
So when my self healing degenerative nerve disorder in my hand goes away I’ll ask Doc about the rash on my foot and the ache in my back every day when I wake up cuz I’m sure the corn on my toe is making me hunch over and causing the pain in my lower back…I’m SURE of it! I just need my doctor to confirm it. And I’m sure she will…cuz it can’t possibly be that I’m overweight and don’t get enough exercise and sit all day at a desk then get home and lay on the couch all night. Noooooo that can’t POSSIBLY be the reason for my backache….it’s the corn. Gotta be the corn.
So… Thursday I’ll report back with the confirmation that this corn has caused me to go hunchbacked and that my hand is fine.
