What do you think?
OK… I do enjoy on occasion reading advice columnists in the daily papers. This one caught my attention…
From Cheryl Lavin of the Tribune on 4/29.
Dear Cheryl: Why is it when a woman cheats, she rationalizes the reason and her friends and Oprah forgive her and then blame the man for driving her to it? Yet, when a man does the same thing, he’s considered a horn dog. I’ve watched this double standard for decades. It crosses over into the popular culture. “The Bridges of Madison County” is about a bored, lonely woman who commits adultery. But nobody takes her to task, because it’s a love story. Women need to be confronted on this issue and not given any wiggle room. Cheating is cheating.
— No Gray Areas
Dear No Gray Areas: I disagree. Not all cheating is the same. There’s cheating just for the thrill of it, just to have a new sexual partner, just to relieve the boredom of marriage. I don’t think many women or men or Oprah condone that kind of behavior.
Then there’s cheating because your partner is physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually abusive. Not everyone condones an affair under those circumstances, but most people at least understand it. In a perfect world, no one would cheat; no one would feel a need to. But this is far from that ideal world and people do cheat. They often hurt their spouses, their children and themselves. Sometimes everyone gets over it; other times, the damage is irreparable.
Readers, can you suggest a movie to No Gray Areas in which a cheating man is the hero?
Now… What do you guys think? Are there gray areas in the world of cheating? I think the columnist’s belief that there are two kinds of cheating to be way out of whack. If you’re in an abusive relationship you don’t cheat…you GET OUT! By cheating on the abuser that just gives fuel to the fire. It opens you up for more abuse. The abuse doesn’t give you license to cheat…it gives you license to FLEE! A SANE person doesn’t stay in an abusive relationship and cheat on the person… Cheryl says “most people would understand it” I don’t…if you’re in an abusive relationship and you cheat…I don’t understand that…I don’t condone it…I think you’re stupid for staying in the abusive relationship. Value yourself more and get out of that situation. But don’t friggin cheat on the abuser…because in the end you’re the one who’s going to get hurt the most in that situation.
And I agree with the letter writer, “No Gray Areas”, cheating is cheating…if you’re in a relationship and lonely or bored, talk to your partner tell them how you feel. Things wont change if you don’t talk about your feelings. We all find it so easy to say nothing and go do stupid shit… If you love the person your with, committed yourself to them…how on earth do you justify betraying them by cheating? No amount of “lonely and bored” justifies that behavior. You’re a fool to think it does.
